Friday: Terrorist Pussy

We have a little furry terrorist in the house. He is about 15 pounds and goes by the name of “Turd”…

There are three cats in this house. The first cat to bless this household is named Duchess. She is a pretty kitty who is constantly beat up on by the other two. She pees when she gets scared, and tricks the humans in this house into yelling at the other cats by faking injury… tricky little devil.
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The second to enter the house is named Jet, but he is more often called “Titten”. He is too furry for his own good, and is sweetest when there is food around. We think he has been turned homosexual by Turd.
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“Third” is the last cat to enter the house. One day he wandered in the garage, and stayed. Rather than give him a name and thereby get attached to him, my family called him “the third cat”, and then shortened it to “Third”, and then one day my mom’s filipino accent kicked in, and he became “Turd”. That little bastard is a jealous little lovebug, is fat, and is a blatant homosexual.
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With my brother at his swim meet there has been confusion over who feeds the cats in the morning. If Lucille and David don’t do it, then Tomis and I get awoken by three meowing cats at our door. Today, there was but one… Turd. The other two had been locked in my brother’s room for at least ten hours. Tomis and I happily went about our day thinking the other cats were just being anti-social and were giving Turd all sorts of cuddles…. UNTIL, I head Titten crying somewhere upstairs. When I found him, he and Duchess had been miserably locked up in Pookie’s room (which smelled strongly of poop). (Koko) I honestly believe that Turd locked them in there. He is the devil. He is a cute devil… but he is a crafty little demon.

So the cats got fed 7 hours past their usual feeding time. Tomis and I are on to Turd though, and now whenever Duchess is missing we go on a mad kitty search in case our fat little Turd has eaten her. Poor girl. Lord help us if our kids are like this…

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