I am actually pretty torn up right now. Ryker is at daycare and apparently had a rough time being dropped off. I miss him like crazy. It is certainly not as much fun sitting here cleaning his toys as it is watching him destroy them. I have a “fun” agenda for myself today though Since it is a government holiday and I can’t register the car or get my license in Arizona, I have very few chores. I need to get a haircut and buy some warmer clothes for Ryker… I will grab myself some nice coffee while en route and perhaps get a pedicure for my mom feet. While at the mall maybe I will con a bored make-up girl into beautifying me before I go to my doctor appointment. By the way, today is the day that we find out the gender of my little pinball (the child is a maniac wriggler, and truly feels like a pinball in my tummy… at only 18 weeks!) I have been waiting for today for over a month. I look forward to calling number 2 something other than “number 2” or “it”. It will be nice for the pregnancy to feel more real too. With Ryker, I didn’t realize I would be a mom until the day they told me I would have him… at which point I freaked out. I am queen of not realizing situations until they are actually, well, realized (which makes me fearless but sometimes a bit daft). Anyhoo, I hope that being able to have a clearer vision of baby number two will prepare me more for what is to come. I fear having that same shock I had the day Ryker was born… that scary thought of, “oh my god, can I really do this?!” As soon as I had him alone in my room, I new we were an unbeatable team, but the momentary fear before that epiphany almost stopped my heart.
I just finished making myself some over-easy eggs and toast (my second favorite breakfast after eggs benedict). I am sitting at my computer trying to play the “quiet your mind” game before finishing my breakfast and jumping in the shower. The shower is the last moment today where I won’t be on the go, and the beginning of “plan the day” mode. That is where the list making will begin… it is like a ramp up meeting with myself and my toiletries 🙂 After that, house chores then out the door. But for now, I am trying to close that door, which honestly feels like closing the door to an overstuffed closet, and just enjoy my eggs and the beautiful sunshine.
Alright… done with the eggs! Bottles.. laundry.. bills.. filing… shower… haircut… then DOCTOR 🙂 Happy Veterans day everyone. If you see a member of our armed forces in uniform, stop them and thank them for their service, lord knows they deserve it.