I am so tired I don’t even know what I am going to say in here. I think I am at that time of night that I am playing mind games with myself– doing my best to think as lightly as possible so that when I do put head to pillow nothing stops me from collecting a few hours of sleep. There is nothing wrong, but if I allow myself any sort of deep thought I can kiss sleep goodbye for at least another two hours. Masters work, for example, will make me review and review in my head… not a cycle I want right now.
The past few nights I have slept with Ryker. He has been crying in his sleep, which usually signals an ear infection (apparently I did the same thing as a kid). I took a 3 hour lunch in order to get him to the doctor to get him back on antibiotics 3 days after he stopped them. Poor little guy. We will be seeing an ENT doctor next week to see what we can do about these reoccurring ear infections. Anyway, Ryker and I had a little date after the doctor and before going back to daycare. We had a banana split and talked about trucks and balloons. I love my boy. I could write a novel about his amazing qualities… it is tempting to do just that, because I don’t ever want to risk forgetting how he gives me hugs all the time, why I called him magnet head, how he cuddles me if I make a sad face, how he will pet my face and tell me “it’s okay mommy.” Or just the funny things, when he tells me, “Hey mommy. Go to the kitchen and cook. Go.”
Just half an hour more…
Today was actually nice for another reason. When I dropped Ryker back off at daycare Cole greeted me at the door! Oh, that baby. I can’t even think about him without smiling. He has such a funny personality. He is by far the most determined baby I have ever seen. He will concentrate so deeply on something until he accomplishes whatever it is he wants. When he wants to talk, he growls. THAT, is too funny for words. Anyway, I got to squish him before driving back to work and got his maniacal giggle to emerge. I could write a novel about him as well, even though he is still coming into his own. He does this sprint crawl when he wants “his” time, and will just dive into my lap. He isn’t cuddly like Ryker, not by a long shot, but he wants his share of attention and he definitely wants his love in his own way. I am so blessed and obsessed with my boys.
I never even mentioned why I am holding off on going to bed… I baked a Carmel Flan and I am waiting for it to cool enough to put in the fridge. It is for a surprise going away party for a coworker and I can’t let it go bad. She is Southern and I know this will make her day.
Bear with me on the randomness… I truly am tired. I have 8 classes until I have my MBA. GO ME! If I can be successful with all I am trying to juggle, I feel like the boys will know they can do whatever they want, too. Tonight though, I think I am at that point where I need to be more smart and less ambitious… and sleep. So good night. Here are some pics 🙂